Parkland mental health therapist offers tips to take control of the holidays
The season isn’t always joyful for everyone
The feeling of the cooler breeze and the sight of holiday items decorating stores is a reminder that the holiday season is upon us. For some, it is a time of celebration, a time of joy, but for others, this time of the year can bring a lot of stress, loneliness or anxiety.
“The thought of needing to buy presents for others, traveling during such a busy time, having to plan a gathering or seeing relatives you don’t typically see can cause stress in some people,” said Carolina Pena, Licensed Professional Counselor, Mental Health Therapist at Parkland Health.
There are expectations surrounding the holidays that paint the picture of what this season should look like and how you should feel, Pena noted, but that may not always resonate with an individual’s reality.
“There is this idea that this is the best time of the year, that you should be happy and everyone should get along. So, what happens if you aren’t joyful, if you got laid off, if you find out you are sick or a loved one passed away,” said Pena. “It’s important to know that it is okay to not be okay during these seasons and not everything has to be so vibrant.”
A good self-reminder, says Pena, is to acknowledge and accept the fact that this time of the year is coming and to challenge the ideas or expectations of being full of joy. She said to be aware that it is a stressful time for you. If you know you will be around someone who may bring up a topic or questions you aren’t comfortable with, prepare mentally, prepare an answer and practice that response so you don’t get caught off guard.
Even though holiday lights are shining bright, not everything will appear so shiny in one’s personal life. There are people without their loved ones, some who perhaps fell out of a relationship or have not met their goals as they wanted and this time of the year can be a reminder of their reality.
“Seeking support around this time of the year is a great way to help yourself. You can talk to a trusted friend or family member. You can also look for professional help and check in with a therapist before the holidays,” Pena said.
If an individual starts overwhelming themselves with thoughts of holiday events or reunions, Pena says this is a good time to practice mindfulness. “You can do this by focusing 2-10 minutes on your breathing. This calms down the nervous system and brings your awareness to the here and now,” she said. “You can do this when you are around your family or out buying presents.”
Pena shares tips for feeling better:
- Call, text, video chat or go visit a friend or family member
- Practice healthy sleeping habits
- Color, paint, draw
- Practice deep breathing
- Listen, dance or sing to music
- Go outside for a walk, stretch or exercise
- Play with your pet
- Volunteer to help others
- Go for a drive
The more people do things that make them feel happy and relaxed during the day, the more relaxed they will be toward the afternoon and evening when reunions typically take place during the holidays.
And if having to buy presents for others causes stress on an individual and their pocket, Pena says to stick to a budget and don’t try to buy someone’s happiness with gifts. “People can do secret Santa, so they don’t need to buy a present for every single person. Try giving another meaning to gifts,” said Pena. “Remember that presents are not the most important part of the holiday.”
In an effort to expand health services, Parkland offers a variety of health and education screenings and community resources in several neighborhoods across Dallas County through the Access to Care & Coverage Program. All services at the nine community hubs are at no cost to the individual.
Hours and days of operation at each community hub vary:
- Bonton Farms (inside the green mobile unit), 2612 Valentine St., Dallas, 75212, Fridays, 2-4 p.m.
- Janie C. Turner Recreation Center, 6424 Elam Rd., Dallas, 75217, Every 2nd and 4th Wednesday, 9:30 a.m.-3 p.m.
- John C. Phelps Recreation Center, 3030 Tips Blvd., Dallas, 75216, Every Thursday, 3:30-6 p.m.
- DHA Buckeye Commons, 6676 Buckeye Commons Way, Dallas, 75215, Every Thursday, 9 a.m.-12 p.m.
- Inspired Vision Compassion Center, 2019 N. Masters Dr., Dallas, 75217, Every Tuesday, 9:30 a.m.-4 p.m.
- CitySquare, 1610 S. Malcolm X Blvd., Dallas, 75226, Every Wednesday, 9 a.m.-12 p.m.
- DHA Park Manor, 3333 Edgewood St., Dallas, 75215, Every Thursday, 1-4 p.m.
- Catholic Charities Marillac Community Center, 2483 Lapsley St., Dallas, 75212, Every Friday, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.
- Oak Cliff Farmer’s Market, 907 E. Ledbetter Dr., Dallas, 75216, First Saturday of the month, 9 a.m.-3 p.m.
If you or someone you know may benefit from talking to a healthcare professional, Parkland offers behavioral health services through the Community Oriented Primary Care health centers. For more information, visit www.parklandhealth.org.
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