Posted: 8/18/2022
What to do if your child is being bullied or is the bully
The beginning of the new school year means the to-do list is long with getting necessary immunizations, school supplies and clothes. But one thing to consider adding to the list is having a conversation about bullying.
Roughly 20% of students ages 12-18 have experienced bullying nationwide, according to statistics published by the National Center of Educational Statistics (NCES). By the end of elementary school, nine out of 10 children report being bullied.
Marta Lynn Pardo, PhD, LSSP, Health Psychologist and program/clinical developer with Parkland Health’s Pediatric Integrated Behavioral Health Program, says it’s important to teach children from an early age how to interact with other kids.
“Teaching them how to treat kids with kindness and respect and teaching them that it’s not good to make fun of other kids if they look different than they do, are from a different socioeconomic status or have special needs is of great value,” Dr. Pardo said, adding that good can come from adults modeling the behavior they want to see, encouraging good behavior from children and using positive reinforcement when they see their child being kind or handling situations positively.
Bullying is not only done face-to-face but also online. Among students 12 to 18-years-old who reported being bullied at school during the school year, 15% say they were bullied online or through text, according to NCES.
But what are the red flags to look out for when a child might be getting bullied?
Warning signs can include changes in their behavior or a shift of mood after being on their electronic devices, explains Dr. Pardo. “If a child seems nervous or worried about going to school, changes in eating or sleeping habits, or if they are avoiding going to after-school programs, these could be signs,” she said.
It’s important for parents or guardians to mention to their children the changes they are noticing and create an open and safe space for their children to talk to them. “Offering comfort and support is important because parents or guardians want to reinforce the notion that the child is doing the right thing by speaking up,” Dr. Pardo said.
If the student is being bullied, Dr. Pardo suggests raising concerns at the school their child is enrolled in and talking to their teacher or counselor.
“We want to tell our kids to not feed into the bullying. That the bully is looking for a reaction. Instruct them to walk away, get over to their friends or teacher and tell an adult,” said Dr. Pardo.
But what if your child is the bully?
“A parent should explain to their child the consequences of bullying at home and school,” said Dr. Pardo, noting behavior always stems from somewhere. “Is a child bullying because they don’t know how to handle their emotions or feel insecure? Perhaps putting others down makes them feel better. It’s a good idea to have an open dialogue with a child as to why they feel the need to bully others.”
To help parents or guardians, Parkland has an Integrated Pediatric Behavioral Health program where Parkland pediatric patients can access a behavioral health consultant through their primary care doctor. The behavioral health team includes mental health counselors, psychologists and psychiatrists.
Parkland’s Integrated Pediatric Behavioral Health program services are available to all Community Oriented Primary Care health centers with pediatrics, including:
- deHaro-Saldivar Health Center, 1400 N. Westmoreland Rd., Dallas, 75211
- E. Carlyle Smith Jr. Health Center, 801 Conover Dr., Grand Prairie, 75051
- Garland Health Center, 601 Clara Barton Blvd., Garland, 75040
- Hatcher Station Health Center, 4600 Scyene Rd., Dallas, 75210
- Oakwest Health Center 4201 Brook Spring Dr., Dallas, 75224
- RedBird Health Center, 3662 W. Camp Wisdom Rd., Dallas, 75237
- Southeast Dallas Health Center, 9202 Elam Rd., Dallas, 75217
To learn more, visit www.parklandhealth.org.